Anxiety disorder isn’t just a state of complete panic. It is a lifestyle people have to learn to live with. The perfectionist.
The goodie-goodie. They weren’t trying to make you look bad in school, doing every assignment, but rather easing their own worries. It was the anxiety of having a test, and the rushing thoughts before the paper was put down. It was the scribbling of notes, as they were handed the paper in a state of complete panic that they would forget the information. It was the sweating before games and worst-case scenario if they lost. It was wanting to be the best and the self-destruction that was caused if they weren’t.
Anxiety disorder triggers success, as well as an added level of pressure. It’s not understanding how someone at 12 doesn’t have a 10-year plan. It is the having a back up plan to every possible situation and knowing how to react to every worse case scenario. It is the over-analyzing of words said, texts messages received, and running over everything to make sure you didn’t miss something.
It is the careful words chosen yourself and the always feeling sorry, if you could have possibly hurt someone’s feelings. It’s the jumping from one thing to another, and in your head it’s logical but to others they think you are mad, and maybe you are. It’s the words your friends tell you of stop worrying, stop over thinking. Just pause every train of thought, but pausing your brain, as someone with anxiety would be as successful as freezing time.
But when it comes to someone with anxiety, the best thing you can do, is let he or she run their path when they go off. Hold them when they are about to lose their fucking mind, even if it seems it’s something so small. To them it matters and to them something small can feel like the end of the world.
Here are some tips for dealing with these types of people.
1. Never Show up late
Anyone who has anxiety will never show up late to anything. The stress caused from not being 5 minutes early, could put them over the edge.
If it’s class, if it’s practice, if it’s an appointment, they will show up first. They would rather wait 40 minutes knowing they are early, then live with the anxiety of being a minute late. So if they tell you, meet me at this time, come early.
2. Never Take something of theirs
Weather they are neat freaks, or their room looks like a bomb went off, they know where everything they own is located, and if at any point you move it without telling them, that could be the trigger that sets them off and puts them into tears.
3. Not answer a text when they are worried
If they go off on a tangent of things they are concerned about, just listen. Hope it’ll end soon, but listen. If you don’t answer they’ll send about 5 texts, then apologize then think your mad at them.
The best thing anyone I have ever dated has said to me, was “I may not answer every text, but please don’t take it personal.” And even if I worried, I trusted them.
4. Never Tell them to calm down
The worst thing you can say to anyone (not just people with anxiety but any woman) is calm down. It’ll just get them more worked up.
5. Never Tell them they are overreacting
If they are upset about something, let it run its course. Let them say what they want and do what they want. Let them yell, even if it makes no sense and comfort them when they worked up about it, whatever it is.
Yes it is common knowledge people with anxiety over react, but they have triggers and you can try and avoid them or just wrap your arms around them as they fall to their knees.
6. Never Relocate Something
People with anxiety thrive on things being in order because sometimes they feel like they aren’t. Really just don’t touch something of theirs.. ever.
7. Not get everything done on their to do list
Every person with anxiety always has a to do list. They have times to get it done. They often have on it, more than an average person can accomplish, but they will get it done.
People with anxiety accomplish more than the average person, they are more driven and do not accept failure as an option and will put so much on their plate, until they have a nervous break down and only then will they slow down. They have one speed.
8. Never Judge them for crying
There will be times where things will just become too much for them, and they will have a meltdown. They will weep until they are out of tears, when that happens just hold them.
Let these emotions run it course and accept their apology for not being strong enough, because after they meltdown they will judge themselves harshly for allowing you to see them like that.
9. Never Tell them someone doesn’t like them
When you have anxiety, you worry about people’s opinions, even if it is someone who doesn’t matter, to them they do. They want everyone to like them, accept them, and they will go to the moon and back to be accepted.
They consider it an accomplishment to be highly liked, so if they come across someone who dislikes them, they will often try twice as hard to win that person over.
10. Never Put them in a social setting when they want to be alone
When you have anxiety there will come a time, where you have spent enough time with people you just want to be alone. They can’t spend too much time with others, because their alone time is so important. So if they ask you, leave me alone; give them their space and they will come back to you.
Loving someone with anxiety, isn’t an easy task, it comes bearing too many texts, too much over-analyzing, constantly saying don’t worry, and hearing these made up scenarios that may never happen, but to them they could.
It comes bearing tears, comfort, organizing, being on time and meltdowns, but if you can deal with people like these at their worst, at their best they will be just that.
A loving soul, who may talk too much, but always say thank you, someone who will value you, appreciate you, and do anything to make you happy. They may drive you crazy half the time, but the crazy will be worth it, because they will accept your flaws, love you for all you are and never want to change you either.
Anxiety: Let Me Be Free
I struggle so much with anxiety, but that does not mean I am incapable of doing things. Yes, I get anxious. I tend to get overwhelmed easily, but I’m still normal. I can still be capable of doing the same things that a person without anxiety can do, I’m just more aware of the little things. I’m trying my hardest to not let anxiety take over my life, but when I tell people I have it… they look at me like I’m incapable of doing things. They are the ones that are allowing anxiety to take over my life. I’m a people person but apparently since I have anxiety, I “shouldn’t” be.
I know I’m not the only one who suffers from this mental illness. But that’s the thing, we are suffering. We aren’t abnormal. We are just normal people with a characteristic that is different from others. It’s hurtful to hear that a person isn’t capable of doing something because of something they are struggling with. I need people to empower me and encourage me to overcome my fears. That’s what anxiety is… the intense fear of everything. Literally, worrying about nothing, but never being able to stop.
I even let it affect my relationships. I can’t trust anyone. Doesn’t have to do with them…it’s my battle. I would love to let my heart just let everyone in and not worry about the “what if’s” but my anxiety always has a say in that. I love people with my whole heart… it’s the trust thing that I can’t figure quite out yet. I can tell you that people who suffer from anxiety are probably the most detail oriented, careful, loving, and honest people you’ll meet because we try to prevent any future anxious thought.
My life is something my anxiety is part of but I don’t want anxiety to be the first thing that pops into someone head when they think of me. I thank people for looking out for me and not wanting to put me in the position that I may possibly have anxiety attacks… but you are only allowing my anxiety to win. I can’t overcome this battle if people keep the obstacles from me. I need the fears, to get out of my comfort zone, to be frightened, a challenge, and something new. I need to be able to fight this but I can only fight this with people standing there beside me and allowing me to do the things I normally wouldn’t do.
After all, everyone struggles with something.. big or small and seen or unseen… but believing in eachother and empowering people to fight it, is the one thing we can all do to help.
20 Things Every Twenty-Something with Anxiety Needs to Hear
Sometimes life gets too overwhelming. And having anxiety exacerbates any problem you face. But don’t take anything too seriously, because even the worst tragedy will pass.
- It’s going to be okay. No matter how bad it seems, it could always be worse.
- Take all the time you need. But the sooner you’re calm, the better you’ll think clearly and rationally.
- You are in control of your life, not the anxiety.
- Don’t let yourself get caught up in the panic. It will pass.
- You’ve been through worse, and you’re still here. You will get through this now.
- Stop worrying about the future. Everything will happen as it’s meant to be.
- Find peace in yourself. Life is in constant change, so go with that flow.
- Think about all of your accomplishments. See? You’re not behind.
- Never compare yourself. To anyone. Ever.
- Life is meant to be enjoyed. Don’t make yourself suffer.
- It’s never as bad as you think it is. Anxiety makes you think it’s much worse. Put it in perspective.
- No one else is wondering what you’re thinking. So don’t worry what they think about you.
- The person you are today is a result of your choices in the past. You have control over your choices in the future.
- There are too many people in the world who love you. Don’t forget that you can reach out whenever you need them.
- Ask for help. If everything is just too much, someone out there wants to help you through.
- You can do whatever you want. Nothing is set in stone, so change your mind and explore.
- Remember that people fight their own personal battles. But no one has to go it alone.
- Think about all of the other 20 somethings, and put your issue into perspective. Chances are, you know someone else with anxiety, too.
- But never discount your problems. When anxiety takes over, it’s not your fault. You’re not guilty.
- Love yourself. Tell yourself that you love who you are everyday.Because you are amazing, and you will get through.