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26 Things Only People with Casual Social Anxiety Will Understand

You don’t have anxiety – you just have social anxiety. And there’s a big difference because one of them takes over your life, and the other, well, just different parts of your life! Otherwise, you can function like a perfectly normal human being. Just a little less in social situations and environments that involve people. Which is almost all the time. See, it’s nothing! No biggie.

  1. You always feel like you’re about to have a heart attack right before you walk into a party. Even if you know the people…
  2. …And if you didn’t know the people – well, then you wouldn’t even be going.
  3. A first date is always a terrifying experience for you…
  4. …You can’t tell if you’re feeling nauseous and need to take a shit or if you just have butterflies. Let’s hope the latter.
  5. You stutter over your words when you’re talking to someone you’re uncomfortable around. I don’t have a stuttering problem, I swear.
  6. You feel like your chest might just explode before an interview…
  7. …And the worst part is the elevator ride once you’re in the building. As if the anticipation wasn’t enough, it has to go at the speed of a fucking turtle.
  8. You can’t stand slow talkers because you just want them to get to the point already. All that build up is just too much.
  9. The same goes for slow walkers. Come on people, let’s pick up the pace.
  10. Your face turns to stone when someone says “I have a question for you” or “we need to talk…”
  11. …Can there be any worse way to start a conversation?
  12. You don’t Skype with anyone you’re not close to – it’s awkward enough.
  13. And let’s not forget business phone calls. Yikes.
  14. Do people notice the weird high-pitched laugh you do in between your sentences? Or is that just you hallucinating?
  15. Your greatest challenge in life is to just press that “Send” button – you could spend hours hovering and deliberating over it if you wanted to.
  16. Speaking of sending messages or emails, you scorn whoever it was that decided to invent the idea of the “follow up” message? Like, hello?!
  17. There’s something that just gets to you about talking to someone when one of you is sitting down and the other is standing up. It’s just not okay.
  18. It’s always the moment building up to something that’s the worst. Once you start, there’s not really any going back…
  19. …For instance, you might be a great public speaker, but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel like you want to disappear right before you have to get on that stage.
  20. What if other people could just, like, go away for a second? Then all would be okay in the world.
  21. You can’t stand getting into a train or bus full of people – how are you going to maneuver yourself so that you don’t accidentally touch someone?
  22. You say “thank you” instead of “you’re welcome” when someone thanks you – and then you’re like “what the fuck did I just do…”
  23. Your life is a never-ending series of facepalms.
  24. * facepalm *
  25. You go over conversations a million in times in your head before you tell yourself to let go.
  26. Thing is, you’re a pretty confident person – you just have these weird social anxiety farts that get in the way sometimes. Otherwise, you’re totally fine. Totally. Right?

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