Guys, it’s time that I level with you. Cheating is bad. That’s pretty obvious. But did you know that it can affect you just as much, if not more than it can affect your significant other? You probably didn’t think about that part. Well, neither did I.
Here’s why cheating is toxic for both you and your partner.
1. YOUR PARTNER MAY NEVER GET OVER IT.
First and foremost, I thought I should talk about your significant other’s feelings. We already know that cheating can destroy your relationship. If you choose to let your partner know about an affair or a mistaken one-night stand, you will feel the backlash for sure. If they find out on their own, which they eventually will, your relationship will take a critical or even fatal blow. If you’ve loved your SO at any time, you shouldn’t be putting them through the pain of your infidelity. That’s just cold. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be more than apologetic and wish you could take the heartache away. But you can’t, and the worst part is knowing it’s all your fault.
2. IT WILL HAUNT YOU.
So I’m obviously not talking ghosts here, but I am talking the “day after,” if you will. It could be the next morning when you wake up next to someone who’s not your boyfriend, or it could be the day you confess. Either way, you will feel like you went through, pretty much, an out-body experience. It will be surreal. You may still feel the touch of someone else on your skin, or you may get chills when you think back to the moment you could have stopped it. Once you have cheated, you won’t forget that feeling.
3. YOUR PARTNER WILL NO LONGER TRUST YOU.
This is a pretty obvious consequence of cheating. But in terms of this affecting you… Your significant other, if they have chosen to stick it out with you, may begin to suffocate you. They will question every move you make not once, not twice, but maybe a hundred times. And surprise, surprise, they still won’t believe you are being honest with them. It’s a steep price you will pay for being unfaithful.
4. YOU WILL RESENT THE PERSON YOU CHEATED WITH.
Whether it was a friend or a complete stranger, you will be looking to blame someone for your slip up. If you’re not busy blaming your partner for their lack of attention, you will be looking to the person you cheated with. I spent a long time wondering “Why me?” But I spent an even longer time hating the person I woke up next to that morning. We used to be friends, but now we never could be again. Our affair ruined that.
5. YOUR MIND WILL WANDER.
Sadly, you cheated on your SO for a reason. Whether you were drunk and lonely, or you were attracted to the other person for a long time, when you are back to reality with your significant other, you will probably find your mind drifting from them to your hot fling. It’s not a pleasant feeling. You will be overcome with guilt at maybe the worst possible time.
6. YOU MAY HATE YOURSELF.
I know I did. For the next few months following my confession to my SO, I fell into a bout of depression. I didn’t want to get out of bed. The guilt was eating at me, and I felt like I couldn’t get away from it. I spent hours and hours crying over something I could no longer change. I wanted to sleep my life away and sometimes, not wake up. It’s heavy stuff, I know, but it couldn’t be more true. Take it from someone who lived it.
7. YOUR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
The bottom line is, whether it be two days or two years after the fact, you will never forget. Your partner will have changed the way they think of you, and you will feel the direct effects from that. Even if you find yourself in another relationship, that partner may not feel they can trust you because of your past.
Do yourself and your partner a favor: don’t cheat. You both deserve better than the guilt, hate, and resentment that comes along with it. It’s something you can never take back, and with 68% of women claiming they would have an affair if they knew they’d never get caught, we should be spending more time thinking about these very real consequences.