1. When you have to work in any open space that isn’t the quietest, emptiest, most boring library ever.
You want to get stuff done, you really do, it’s just that EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING AT ONCE AND YOU CAN’T ESCAPE FROM ANY OF IT. Lookin’ at you, open-plan offices.
2. Spending so much time looking around at everything that catches your attention that you start to look paranoid.
No, I’m not worried that someone is out to get me, it’s just that EVERYTHING IS INTERESTING.
3. Having a short-term memory that is the stuff of comedy legend.
You forget whether or not you’ve taken your meds, BUT YOU NEED TO HAVE TAKEN YOUR MEDS TO REMEMBER.
4. Loving to impulsively commit to stuff you’re excited about before you’ve thought it through.
When you’re impulsive, it’s like everyone gets to see the rough-draft version of you.
5. You spend a lot of time wondering when it will be OK to go the bathroom again, just so you have the chance to move around.
6. You feel the same way about flashing Gchat alerts as cats do about laser pointers.
Look, there’s a flashy thing! I must grab the flashy thing! I grabbed the flashy thing! OH SHIT, WTF, THE FLASHY THING IS BACK.
7. Nothing on earth is interesting enough to keep your attention over the sound of loud shoes click-clacking against the floor.
8. That goes double for all of the ringtones and text alerts in earshot.
9. When you walk into a room, it takes you many frustrating moments to remember why you walked into a room.
10. When you get a text message and you don’t respond to it right away, it ain’t gettin’ answered.
11. Missing the little details are what gets you every. damn. time.
12. When you don’t take your medication, you’re an awesome multitasker who can’t focus.
13. But when you do take your medication, you’re an awesome focuser who cannot multitask.
14. People often don’t believe that you have ADHD because “only kids have that.”
15. You spend a lot of time trying to make sure that no one finds out that you are flaky and disorganized.
16. When anyone says that they’re “so ADD today,” like ADHD is something they can just put on for the day, like a hat.
17. You get highway hypnosis from reading long books.
18. You frequently lose things, like things you were holding literally seconds ago.
The keys that you just put in your pockets, the sunglasses that are on top of your head.
19. You tend to lose interest in things, like things you were super into literally seconds ago.
Things that you are actually STILL super into — but your brain is pulling you away like a mean mommy who won’t let you hang out at Toys “R” Us.
20. People are constantly insisting that what you have isn’t real, and that “everyone in your generation has it.”
Well, that solves that, then.
21. One of your greatest superpowers is your ability to procrastinate in the face of anything.
22. If you’ve got your ADHD under control, anyone who messes with your carefully tuned schedule is asking to get cut.
They’re also asking for you to be generally unproductive and annoying, so they’re only hurting themselves, OK? OK. Good talk.
23. When people ask you if you’re “faking it just to get the Adderall prescription.”
24. Or worse, when anyone asks if they can have or buy any of your pills.
Stop being a part of the problem, man.
25. Whenever anyone tells you that you just “lack discipline.”
I will make you a deal: I will agree to stop having ADHD if you agree to stop having skin or feet or your current eye color? READY, GO!